Current location:	VA
Current mood:	crappy
Current music:	the fucking disjwasher...I think its broken

I try to replace him...with going out...with other dudes...with anything I can think of...but when I sign online and I see the same girl that broke us up is still commenting on his page...it kills me...I tried washing dishes and cleaning to take my mind off it...I tried having a couple beers to help me sleep but all and all it still hurts...deeply...I have to be up for work soon but my mind is racing...how can someone say they love you then act otherwise.....how can he leave me soo many messages saying he still loves me but he is obviously still in contact with her...why can't this be easy...I am soooo tired of BS....fuck I have only 3 real friends up here and they all try to help me not talk to him...thank you guys by the way...amanda I am sorry for snapping at you...I just was negatively getting my aggression out..I felt terrible afterwards...I love you...I want to be okay..I want to not care but I don't know how...caring has always been a downfall of mine...I wish emotions were like a water tap, but its not that easy...Panda you were right that day when you said he was going to break my heart...if only I had listened